I’ve been missing a while now.
Not because I’ve been too busy, or too lazy, or too suddenly brilliant at running that I’ve discovered the secret of speed and don’t care to share.
No, I’ve been avoiding you all.
I could say that I’ve been coming to terms with a bitter truth. Because there is a bitter truth to be told. Yes, partially that is true, but i could have written this weeks ago. I’ve been avoiding.
Back late last year my sports physio suggested i get X-rays on my hip as his weekly pummelling, prodding, stretching and bending efforts weren’t making great progress on my stiff leg and less than flexible hip joint. Here’s why; I have early onset osteoarthritis.
Lots of sulk-triggers to go at here:
- I’m getting older – arthritis, you what? I’m not 50 yet. Arthritis is for old people, right?
- I’ll never run again *dramatically throws back of hand against forehead and gaze stoically into the distance, lip trembling, noble chin tilted*
- I am in pain and I’m sick of it.
When the doctor read me the x-ray results I cried. Then apologised for crying and then cried some more. “I don’t know why I’m crying,” I whimpered through the tears. Frankly, the fact she was about 25 and right then, at that moment, i wanted my body back at her age – it really wasn’t helping. But most of the reasons I was ploughing my way through her tissues are listed above. “I’m not saying you can never run again,” she added. This helped; i can’t stand being told what to do by authority figures who haven’t earned my respect, and as for young doctors…? The thought of her thinking I would never run again if she said so… and i was clear. To grossly misquote the divine Scarlett O’hara:
‘I’ m going to live through this and when it’s all over, I WILL run again.’
That was October… since then I’ve discovered some perspective and some facts. (Scarlett will be pleased):
- anyone can get arthritis and age isn’t a barrier.
- I’m not alone, there’s about 10 million of us in the UK
- I may run again, but I will have to be patient.
So, thought it was about time I got back on the horse again and let you know where I was at.
Perhaps i should start a link about getting to grips with arthritis and leave a link here. What do you think?